sheloveslikewoah:

Almost everyone I’ve invested time in this year has ended up screwing me over so it’s safe to say I have shitty choice in friends.

diacrit:

hanesonly:

I almost forgot my briefcase!

it contains important lab results

(Source: awwww-cute, via ohmyshark)

(Source: lizclimo, via lolzpicx)

notlostonanadventure:

bewbin:

if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.

he would be ur fed ex 

I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that

(via iamkitkatattack)

toothpast:

103312:

asperatus cloud

asparagus my ass tuRN THE FUCK AROUND

(via iamkitkatattack)

ticktoast:

this show is a gift

(via sammyloserchester)

gayturians:

lyraffect:

gayturians:

once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory

You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone

go big or go home

(via internetcallgirl)

Ryan Kwanten in Malibu, California (August 2014)

(Source: vispreeve, via arrchaic)

COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL

toasterstrudel:

  1. Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
  2. Marry them and start a family
  3. Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
  4. Make them strudel with no icing
  5. They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
  6. Take all six packets for yourself
  7. Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster

(via thecompanionsdoctor)

myrealityistheatre:

I just wanted to take a nice walk around the neighborhood.

(via mygracefullyinsaneworld)