Almost everyone I’ve invested time in this year has ended up screwing me over so it’s safe to say I have shitty choice in friends.
if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.
he would be ur fed ex
I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that
Just because you fell in love with the river
doesn’t mean you must feed it your bones.
want to fix you
or fuck you
I can’t be fixed
and I don’t care to be saved
once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory
You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone
go big or go home
COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL
- Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
- Marry them and start a family
- Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
- Make them strudel with no icing
- They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
- Take all six packets for yourself
- Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster